Sunday, July 5, 2009

Further Attempts at Dating

I belong to so many Jewish dating sites, my profile scattered throughout the net. I have stopped using them, not only because of the pregnancy, but because I am not a "virtual" personality. I would much rather meet a person, face to face, spend time with them and see a relationship develop out of a natural encounter.

Several days ago, a man contacted me from one of these websites, and I responded honestly that I am not in the active dating circuit right now. He pressed for a reason, and I told him that I am seven months pregnant, and assured him that if I never heard from him again, I would not take it personally. Truth be told, his energy was off, typical of the freaks who usually write to me; before we had ever met in person, he was already calling me pet names, telling me how wonderful I was and planning the wedding. I would not have been interested in him in any case.

My state of pregnancy did not turn him away, on the contrary, I received a three page email describing his love of children, and his enthusiasm in the possibility that he might become the father to my child. His only request was to know the details of the "involvement" of the biological father, to "understand" the current balance in my life.

I have always foreseen this aspect of the fertility treatments as a positive attribute, there is no ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, no legal battle to muddy the waters. And so I explained via email that there is no father per se, that all was done halachically and anonymously. In fact, in order to even start treatments I had to sign a legal waiver, relieving the donor of any emotional or financial responsibility, now and forever.

Go figure, since then I have not heard a peep from Mr. "I Love the Children of the World." Apparently, he would prefer an unresolved relationship or a messy custody battle to a lack of complications.

Darn, here I was hoping to ask him to attend the birth preparation classes with me...:-)

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