Sunday, June 14, 2009

Sharing Stories (Please Don't)

In my line of work, I hear a lot of stories about a lot of families. Even those clients of mine who have figured out that I am pregnant, they come in with stories of horror about their daughter's miscarriage, told in all its gory detail. Or I have other clients who have special needs children, who share the intimate facts about how difficult it is to raise a Downs Syndrome son or daughter, how it is ruining their marriage and perspective on life, how they expect their son or daughter to always need diapers and constant care and supervision into adulthood.

The doctor part of me has learned how to listen and how to sympathize with their stress. The pregnant woman part of me wants to gag them as soon as they start talking, because it feeds into my most basic fears about my own daughter. I believe my doctors when they say that she is thank G-d healthy, and yet, there are days when I want to run screaming from my office.

If someone guaranteed me, right this moment, that I would not have to worry about making a living and paying bills for the next year, I would close my office tomorrow morning, and settle into a routine of support and calm for the rest of this pregnancy.

And please keep the birth horror stories to yourself.

2 comments:

SuperRaizy said...

Those stories are just the worst.
Most babies are born healthy and wonderful and with God's help yours will be too. Focus on that thought as much as you can!

Lee said...

First of all, let me congratulate you and offer my sincerest support to you and all those who have chosen a similar route to motherhood. As a strong, independent, feminist frum woman, I have always thought it unfair that women should be deprived of the joys and gratification of parenting just because they have not found a mate. To me, that is like adding salt to wounds.

I would very much like to find out more information about how one may proceed with receiving a rabbinical heter and then undergoing artificial insemination. I basically want to know to which organizations/agencies one turns in this situation. My story is a bit complicated -- I don't mind providing the details but would prefer not to do so in this comments section. Please let me know which steps need to be taken. I am already a mother to 3 children, B"H....