Thursday, April 3, 2008

Resisting the Urge to Plan

It has been one week since they performed the IUI, and while I can hope that it worked, I will not know for sure until next week, when Hadassah does the test for the presence of hCG in my blood.

Meanwhile, I am learning the very important lesson of living in the Now, and going from day to day. Yes, I am taking care of myself physically and talking to my belly; "How are you today, little baby? Have you implanted on the left side or the right side of my womb?" But I am not planning ahead to the next month, the next year, or the next ten years. Other than thinking about baby names, I have not shopped for strollers or maternity outfits.

This is a hard lesson for me, if you had asked me at age 13 how my life turned out, I could have given you details, names of husband and children, trips taken and piano recitals attended. The cliche says that "Man plans and G-d laughs," and so I have given into the uncertainty of the process, knowing that I have done all I can to prepare myself mentally and physically, up to this point.

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