Monday, February 25, 2008

So Who Knows? (A Sampling)

Quite a lot of people actually, many of whom will be mentioned in later blogs. The idea of the pregnancy and the single parenthood simmered inside me for almost two years, and once I made the decision with joy and faith, I had no choice but to share it with those who I knew would give me love and support. And even with those who have a peripheral connection to my life, because Israel is one large extended family. My business will become every one's business, and being 6000 miles away from my blood relatives, I must create a new family for the child I will bring into the world.

EG: My upstairs neighbor, a married woman from my home town in the States , with one very expressive child. An acquaintance who is fast becoming a friend.
DB: A friend who married a widower with two girls and had trouble getting pregnant, she herself had IVF and after five years gave birth to a boy.
MS: A friend who found her husband through the Internet and had a difficult pregnancy herself. When I first told her, she reacted by the following slipping out of her mouth, "Oh, you are going that route?" And quickly corrected herself by saying that she and her husband would support me in any decision I make. We share the same gynecologist.
TC: My cosmetitian who is in a committed relationship but has no desire or intention to have children, her partner three dogs are enough for her.
ME: An old friend from the United States, a lesbian in a long-term committed relationship, my Survivor buddy and currently recovering from breast cancer.
YL: My youngest brother, with whom I have an exceptionally close bond despite the difference in years and having not grown up together. He spent almost every weekend in my house when he was studying at a program in Israel, and we get each other, without speaking, and accept each other without condition or judgement.
SC: My massage therapist and spiritual counsellor, she has stepped up and is already calling herself "Savta" (Hebrew for grandmother) and wants to help me on this path, in any way that she can. She is already planning day trip with my child.
YO: A client who once offered to donate sperm to the cause, and has consistently told me that any child will be lucky to have me as a mother.
LC: A single mother in Jerusalem who lives in a building complex that happens to house five other women (four of them Orthodox) who are single mothers by choice. She has helped me understand the personal and bureaucratic maneuvers that face me in the months ahead.
KB: A distant cousin and adopted brother who lives down the street from me, he and his wife have pledged their full support to me, and have even offered to be there when I break the news to my parents.

I do of course wonder what some of my clients say and how they will react, especially those who come from the Ultra-Orthodox community. Would they discontinue to utilize my services because I have made a choice that goes against their personal and communal value system? Will I become a pariah and the fodder for gossip in my own neighborhood?

That is not in my hands and not my problem, each person must act in a way that is true and consistent to their inner voice, and my inner voice cannot wait to meet my future child.

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